Letter Three

Dear __________,

Well...I decided to do this letter to you now because tomorrow would've been a year and a half together. But you've probably forgotten that. And your birthday is a week from today. You'll be eighteen. But I don't have a lot to say to you.

It was hard for me to get over you. I mean, REALLY hard. It took me a long time, and it's mostly because you dropped me like a hot potato.

I don't know what to believe of what you said. Most of it I never wanted to believe, but I had to. I had to stop thinking that we were going to be something great again.

A lot of my writing is about you. I don't think you know that, or if you would realize that. But every scene in Rep I've written, and a lot of my creative writing projects have been, in some way, about you. You inspired me to write, and whether that's a good thing or a bad thing, I never will really know.

You said you wanted to stay friends. Then suddenly, you wanted to wait to be friends, and then suddenly you wouldn't even look in my direction. You were my best friend. For you to just leave me without giving me a sense of direction was...well...horrible.

When I got to school on the first day, I wanted to hang out with you, because you said that you didn't have any friends. But suddenly you had a huge group of them, and I didn't want to intrude. I wanted you to be happy...That's all I wanted.

It's still all I want.

But you lied to me. You can think what you want about me, whether it's true or not. But honestly, everything you blamed me for could be all pointed right back at you. You blamed me for so much that I can't even remember most of it, but I do have it saved on an IM conversation. You said I did all of this stuff, but in reality, so did you.

You're a hypocrite, and very two-faced, and I've waited way too long to tell you that.

And I know you'll never read this. I probably never even cross your mind. But there's a song that describes what I've been feeling since August 15, 2009. And I wanted to share it with you. And, knowing you, you'll probably critique it to death. Not that you'll ever see this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kellie Pickler - Didn't You Know How Much I Loved You

I remember the way you made love to me
Like I was all you'd ever need
Did you change your mind
Well I didn't change mine
Now here I am trying to make sense of it all
We were best friends now we don't even talk
You broke my heart
Ripped my world apart

Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you

I can't get you out of my head
I still feel you in this bed
Left me all alone
You couldn't be more gone
From falling apart to fighting mad
From wanting you back to not giving a damn
I've felt it all
I've been to the wall

Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
Didn't you know how much I loved you

One day justice will come and find you
And I'll be right there in your memory to remind you

Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me

Didn't you know how much I loved you
Didn't you know how much I loved you, baby
I gave you everything, every part of me
Didn't you feel it when I touched you
Didn't I rock you when I loved you, baby
Baby, tell me
I gave you everything, every part of me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Notice: Didn't you know how much I loved you.

Loved, not love.

It feels so much better to say that.

And so, if you really wanted to be friends, I'm sorry. But friends don't do this to one another.

So farewell. Forever.

Sammy