True Colors

I need opinions. And I need to know if you would consider this a vignette or more of a thought. Thanks! =]

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"You with the sad eyes..."

My iPod played the beautiful music through my senses and poured it straight into my thoughts. I sang along with the tune, trying to calm my senses. I felt as though the roof would cave any second.

"Don't be discouraged. Oh, I realize it's hard to take courage in a world full of people. You can lose sight of it all, and darkness still inside you make you feel so small..."

Upon first listening, I did not realize how beautiful the meaning is. So I kept playing it on repeat once I realized there was something that stuck with me, something personal and real.

"Show me a smile then, don't be unhappy. Can't remember when I last saw you laughing. If this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear, you call me up. Because you know I'll be there..."

I would do anything for my friends. Absolutely anything. I only want for them to know that I am here to listen to them if they need me. I'm here when they think they're hit rock bottom. I'm here when they are on cloud nine or above. I'm here through it all.

"If this world makes you crazy, you've taken all you can bear, you call me up. Because you know I'll be there."

My feelings don't matter. They come after my friends' feelings. They come after my friends. If I have had the worst day I've ever had, and I see my friend crying, I'll throw my feelings out the window. I'll throw everything else aside, just to make sure they're not too raw, too scared, too heart broken. I'll put a smile on so they know that at least there is one thing in this world they can always look forward to: Happiness.

Everyone reaches it eventually, right?

And those who don't think so are running from something their afraid of. Maybe thinking of giving up.

I've been there. So I know.

Eventually, you find it. That one thing that makes you truly happy. That one thing that makes you smile.

You might have it now, and not realize it.

If you do have it, I suggest you embrace it for as long as you can.

If you don't, keep looking. Don't give up. Life is too short, anyway.

I try to see the good in people. Finding that good makes me happy.

Having that destroyed makes me melancholy.

But I still look forward to that moment when I see you smile.

"And I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors,
True colors, are beautiful,
Like a rainbow..."

Descriptiveness

The universe. Expanding, expanding, expanding. And when you think it's going to explode, it just keeps expanding and amazing you.

Stars winking at you from high above; that moment when you see a shooting star.

Being at the top of the roller coaster, and that moment right before you plummet down.

Holding on to a balloon string so tightly, not wanting it to ever fly away.

Electricity shocking your body with every touch.

Warmth and coziness surrounding you.

Your senses igniting and becoming more acute; becoming more aware.

Fire inside you finally igniting and lighting up your eyes and smile more than you thought possible.

Butterflies not only in your stomach, but all around you.

Melting, melting, melting...

The power and confidence to do anything, as long as you're standing there.

Feeling young.

The world becoming more beautiful by the second.

Feeling like everything could last forever, as long as you still care.

The balloon string slowly slipping out of your hand...

And everything is lost.

But sometimes, you're able to catch that string before it gets too far.

And sometimes, that's all you need for everything to be right again.

I love you.

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Dylan: Love is every time you see the person, your stomach drops...I don't know why. That's just what it feels like.

Renee: How to describe love...hm...Feeling completely comfortable with someone, wanting to be with them almost all the time...realizing that you haven't stopped smiling since you've been with them. ;)

Jimmy: Love is just a confidence trick. Nature's way of suckering a mammal with a brain an a long, vulnerable gestation period into repreoducing. We humans can think, so ordinary animal-grade maternal instinct wouldn't be enought to cause human women to go through all that, not if they stopped and thought about what was involved. So there you have love. It's a substistute for rational thought; looking at it that way, it's the complete antithesis of what being human's all bout. We can make choices, which makes us unique. Love takes away all choices, and there you are. Worse still, love inevitably leads to the worst pain of all, when you lose the people you love. Those who complain about not having any love, might as well be complaining about not having a shattered femur. That's all there is to say about that.

<(")

"Are you going to tell me?"

I hid my face behind my hair and hands and smiled. How could he not know?

"I can't. You don't understand."

"What are you afraid of?"

"A lot of things. The world exploding. You running away from me. You..."

I couldn't even finish my thought. I just kept walking beside him, holding what seemed like the biggest secret in my heart. I didn't have the courage to tell him.

I kept thinking about how I felt the other night when I was thinking about how I would tell him. If I acted like that when he wasn't even there, how could I possibly say it without my universe exploding?

He pulled me to a set of steps and said, "I'm not leaving this spot until you tell me."

I laughed and sat next to him. "Then we're going to be here for a very long time. I hope you know that."

He sighed and pulled me into his arms. I made a point of not looking at him and hiding more. He whispered, "Why would I run away?"

I wanted to tell him exactly what I was thinking: Most people would.

My heart kept racing faster and faster as the words danced on the tip of my tongue. I started shaking and blushing. I kept saying things like "I can't" or "Why do you want to know?". But I knew I had to tell him. Eventually he would find out anyway.

I hadn't said it out loud before. I hadn't even tried to, really.

"Please Sammy? I'll let you tickle me! That's how much I want to know."

I laughed. I laughed to cover up what I was really feeling.

He then took off his glasses and started talking in a nasal librarian voice. I laughed and put my arms around him while saying, "You are such a dork!"

"And you love me for it?"

Silence.

Completely dead silence for what seemed like an eternity.

"...Maybe?"

He chuckled and looked at me. His eyes were willing me to say it. I took a deep breath and started to try to form the words in my mouth.

"Dylan, I can't. I can't say it."

"Why not?"

"Because if I say it, it's real. Not just some thought that happens to be on my mind all the time. I'm afraid of those words."

He slid an arm around me and kissed me. "There's nothing to worry about. Come on, darlin' We gotta go."

We got up to leave, walking side by side. It was silent until I said, "I'm sorry. I really can't say it."

"I was going to wait for you to say it, but I guess I will. To try and make it easier for you. I love you."

An electric current of warmth starting at my heart went through me. I could feel it all the way to the tips of my fingers. I went weak in the knees.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I do."

It was silent. Then I said, "You know what? I just need to fucking breathe, form the words in my mouth and say it."

I kept breathing, keeping track of the rhythm of my heart. Suddenly, without warning, I said it.

"I love you."

He stopped walking and turned to face me, pulling me into him. I buried my face in his chest, not believing that I had just said it.

I walked him home, holding his hand and smiling the entire way there. When I had to go, I walked home feeling like this great weight had been lifted off of me, and that I could relax once again.

I didn't stop smiling the entire night.

I haven't stopped smiling since then.