Long time, no post.

I haven't written here in a while, I must admit.But great things have been happening since my last blog, which, as some people said, was slightly depressing. And a lot of people said I should tell him how I felt.

Well, I wasn't planning on it, but I did...And he feels the same way.

It kind of slipped one night when we were talking, but that's all I'll say about it for now.

So, I said in my last blog I didn't want to be in love again. This is partially true, but that's really because I'm afraid of getting hurt again...

But, now that I've thought about it, I'm really afraid of hurting him...I don't care what happens to me...

I've been through that kind of pain before, so I know I can overcome it and survive. But he's never felt like this about anyone before. If I in any way hurt him...I don't know if I could forgive myself.

Then again, if you look at me, I really don't like hurting anyone. Emotionally, anyway. It physically pains me to see my friends in pain. It pains me when my friends are doing or about to do something that could hurt them for a really long time. I blame myself sometimes for some of the things they're thinking about. I honestly blame myself.

All I want is for them to be open with me; sometimes they're not.

Well, anyway, back to the happier stuff. So, yes. I am in love...and he loves me back. I'm pretty sure some people will say, "It's too soon," or "Are you sure about this?"

Here's the thing: If I wasn't really in love again, I wouldn't be feeling what I am. People say that when you find "the one", you just know. I know. That's all.

And, seeing that Den already knew, and has known about this feeling even before I did, I can't come up with any other explanation but love.

My feelings were further confirmed last night when we were talking on the phone. Unfortunately, we don't live in the same city...not even the same state.

Anyway, he knows everything about me, basically. He knows all of the really important stuff. But when we were talking, we started talking about my past. I told him my reasoning for wanting to be a teacher, and I told him about how everything has effected me. It wasn't me asking for sympathy. It was me just telling him, and me opening up to him. When I was finished talking he said: "Sammy, that's why I love you. I love you so much and I am so sorry...For everything...And that I couldn't have been there..."

I told him not to be sorry; I'm ok now. But he still told me he was sorry and that he loved me. At that moment I knew that what I was feeling wasn't fake; there was no way it could be. Not that I thought it was fake before. This just confirmed it.

I mean, the way he says my name, the was he talks to me...I can't even believe he would choose to love someone like me. I think he deserves better, but I'm too selfish to let him go. I love him.

He's amazing. Plain and simple.